Sunday, June 10, 2012

Prometheus aka I'm Gonna Pretend... (Warning: Spoilers)

Before, I eveeeeen get started, let me say that I really do hope that anyone who reads this, disagrees with me and tells me why. I don't get paid for movie reviews and I certainly don't study the fine art of movie making. The level of disappointment and sadness that filled me as I left the theater might be wholly irrational. I mean, I have read pretty much all of the trade paperbacks for Aliens, Predator, AVP and own all of the movies. I am a fan of the franchise and that's why I hate that I hated the latest installment.

As I sit here watching James Cameron's turn in the series, "Aliens," I can't help wishing that HE had done the so called prequel. It is important to know that I was warned that Prometheus was not to be taken in the same vein as any of the other Alien films and so I blame part of my mood on by stubborn ignorance.

Let me just set up this shoddy review by stating the premise which is that two scientists embark on an epic journey with corporate backing fro the nefarious Weyland-Yutani corp. to find those who may have created humanity, our Gods, or makers per se. Yes there a lot of references to religion in the film and each one is more ironic than the next. Now, outside of the naivete of seemingly every character in the film except for Vicker's, the suit in charge of the expedition, everyone seems just a little too arrogant for me. They are so fixed on asking their Gods questions but not once does anyone ever question if they are evolved or intelligent enough to ask them questions.

I'm not even gonna talk about the lack of character development and the fact that no, I really didn't give a damn about who died and didn't in the film, but even the action sequences felt flat and dull. Who...Who builds a space ship with no projectile weapons? After the engines, that would be the second thing I designed for a space ship. Let me tell you if the Engineers/Space Jockeys/our makers were looking for a gauge for intelligence, we would have failed that test. Another one, did no one have a test tube? Why weren't extensive tests done on the black goo by someone other than just the robot? Oh yeah, so again with the intelligence test: If an Earth scientist who studies rocks, gets lost in a cave when he was the one responsible for bringing the mapping equipment in the first place then no...humans aren't winning brownie points. Also, if you just gave birth to Cthullu, wouldn't you want everyone to know about it, instead of chumming up with them? Yeah, not smart.

Hmm, being of the mind of someone who might want to observe God and contemplate, rather than think I'm equal enough to "ask" him a question, that may be why I really didn't like the movie. I mean who doesn't know that creation is both a beautiful and violent process? Anyone who watches the Discovery channel should get that nature is chaotic. So nooooone thought that out makers might be? Hmmm.

Going primal, defending oneself and humanity against creations of the Gods is a better summation for the franchise that deeming ourselves evolved enough to have tea with the Gods and it is certainly what separates the Alien franchise from Prometheus, for me. You see, in every other Alien film (the horror and the action ones) humanity has to cut out the bullshit, unit despite difference and go HOSTILE. Ripley wouldn't give a damn about asking the Engineers why they made us! She strap on a hand cannon and put concussion grenades in her belt pouches ans she would give them the business! Oh she didn't need stimulants to do it. (Don't even get me started on how a chick can be drugged, wake up from said drugs, fight off scientist who want to put her in cryo, escape to a medical pod, have a c-section to have Cthullu Jr. and then do a triathlon to ask the Engineers questions)

Ohhh this movie hurt my feeling. Even the main character, whose name I keep forgetting didn't even have the presence or common sense of Newt. If you asked me who I wanted to be in charge it would be the kid, because even she knows when to get the hell out of Dodge! Instead, the main character persists in her mission to interview beings who may have created us, but who wouldn't hesitate to annihilate us...did I mention she made friends with the android who seemed to hold humanity in contempt, the same android that wanted her to give birth to an Old One? For real? ForfuckingReal?

Okay so this movie is waaay too smart and deep for me, maybe? Maybe my hope of seeing a good SyFy Action Horror was misplaced. Sure Ridley Scott is a great director of epic films, but damn, this film was hardly in the same caliber of Gladiator, Blade Runner or even Kingdom of Heaven.

Was it a beautiful film? Yes, it is. Does it tie in a little bit with the franchise? I suppose. Should you see it if you love the Aliens franchise? Ugggh...No. Thankfully I own the Quadrilogy. Today will be spent wiping that film out of my mind with "Aliens" and the first "Predator" with Arnie.


Unknown said...

Hubby and I watched this and it was awful. My only joy in the movie is Michael Fassbender, have you seen shame? um yeah, BIG SURPRISE waiting for the ladies and that movie. But overall Prometheus is a dud.

Unknown said...

Hubby and I watched this and it was awful. My only joy in the movie is Michael Fassbender, have you seen shame? um yeah, BIG SURPRISE waiting for the ladies and that movie. But overall Prometheus is a dud.

Mya said...

I am a big fan of both the Aliens and the Predator franchise, and both sequels disappointed greatly, outside of starring hotties: Michael Fassbender and Adrian Brody. It's like folk forgot what the franchises were about in the first place...sad times in deed.